


Ticking Like a Bomb in a Birdcage

by GlitterAndDoom



Series: Silver and Gunpowder [2]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Community: hc_bingo, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-20
Updated: 2011-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-21 14:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterAndDoom/pseuds/GlitterAndDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The minutes before Adam's first transformation into a werewolf, set between <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/216799">Tarnishing Gunpowder</a> and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/217263">Silver and Time</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ticking Like a Bomb in a Birdcage

**Author's Note:**

> Third one-shot in the "Silver and Gunpowder" series. Written for the hc_bingo prompt "first transformation." Title taking from the lovely song "What I Wouldn't Do" by A Fine Frenzy.

"You may be okay."

Adam ignored him, testing the bars of the cage instead. "Sauli…" The threads of silver twined around the cold steel itched and burned beneath his palms, making him wince, but he tugged at the bars again. They held. But the wolf would be stronger. "I can feel it."

"It?"

"The Moon." He took a deep breath that failed to calm him, and he tried in vain to shake the restless tension from his muscles. "It's all over me. It's like…" He let go of the bars and paced across the smooth concrete, trying to find the words and failing. "Fuck, I don't even know." It was useless to try to describe how it felt, how the full Moon's invisible rays were already crawling under his tight, naked skin, setting every nerve in his body aflame with unforgiving light. He tugged at the bars on the other side. They held, too, and he leaned against them, careful to keep the silver from touching his shoulder. "It's gonna happen."

"You're tense." Sauli gave him a sympathetic frown, and Adam looked away. "It might not…"

"It _will_." He shoved away from the bar and stalked toward the other side of the cage. God, the Moon was so far away, but so _close_. It was there in the room and thousands of miles above, and nothing about it made sense anymore. And he could do nothing. "You know what's coming," he said, jabbing a finger toward Sauli. "You know how this…"

Adam broke off with a choked sound. He couldn't handle this. He _couldn't_. "This…" He slumped against the cage and slid down to the cool floor, relishing and hating the hot sting of the half-poison metal along his spine. "We both know I'm fucked," he whispered.

"You are not." Adam let out a dark, bitter laugh. Sauli ignored it, and slipped a hand between the bars and let it rest on Adam's bare shoulder. Adam pulled away, and wrapped his arms around his knees, trying to shrink himself to nothing. Through blurred and burning eyes, he stared at the red brick wall across the room, loathing its bloodlike hue and appreciating its strength. Quietly, Sauli spoke again, and Adam felt his fingertips brush against his back. "I've told no one. Have you?"

Adam shook his head. The bite had to be reported, but he couldn't do it. Couldn't look his team in the eyes and explain how badly he'd fucked up, couldn't risk the chance that they'd kill him right then and there, even though…and, God, he'd always been the stable one, the best...Adam pushed the thoughts away, and glanced over his shoulder at Sauli. "I told you to report it."

"I do not think it will happen," Sauli insisted, and squeezed Adam's shoulder. "I don't. And I didn't want…no. You are Adam. You still act like—"

"I've been fighting so hard to keep…to stay _me_."

"And you have succeeded! If you were going to… _change_ , surely you would have—"

"I'm _different_." He sank back, and hissed at the pain as he touched the silver yet again, then finally scooted away. It was better than the Moon beneath his skin, at least, but, God, didn't Sauli _notice?_ "Most of the changes don't happen 'til after the first transformation, most people don't seem any diff—baby, you _know_ this. And I know you're trying to reassure me, but…" He heaved a long sigh, and regained some semblance of composure, but he still couldn't stand to face Sauli's sad but hopeful eyes. "This is going to happen. If I thought I was going to be okay, I wouldn't have bought this cage, and I wouldn't have told you to tell anyone."

No, that was a lie. Even if the werewolf had only scratched him, he would have prepared.

"Yes, you would. You are always paranoid, always…dramatic." Gentle hands tangled in Adam's hair, fingers combing through it so softly, so lovingly. Adam let his tired eyes flutter closed and leaned into the touch. "I love how much you feel, but…you worry. Too much."

"I worry 'cause I need to. I have to." And this time, he had to worry. No, he had to get ready. Except he didn't know how to get ready, didn't know how to fight this monster, not when the monster was him.

He opened his eyes and looked up at the tiny basement window, at the darkness beyond the newly-barred glass, and wondered if he was imagining the lightening of the sky or just feeling the ever-growing pull of the Moon. "This is happening. I know it, and you do, too."

Sauli was silent for a moment, hand pausing in Adam's hair. Then, he whispered, "Yes. But I keep hoping…maybe if I lie enough…" and trailed off into silence.

"Yeah, me too." He turned and gave Sauli what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You should probably go," he said, even though he wanted Sauli there but wanted to protect him but…God, he didn't even fucking know. "You don't wanna see—"

"I am not going anywhere."

"Okay." Adam nodded, and some of the tension in his chest unclenched. "Okay."

Sauli smiled back, just a tiny quirk of his lips, but it was enough. "You _will_ be okay. No matter what."

"Thank you." Something in the air shifted, hot and cold and tight and unraveling, and Adam pulled away and got to his feet. "I love—"

"Shh. You can tell me later, when this is over."

Swallowing hard, Adam nodded again, and quietly mouthed _I love you_ anyway.

It was time.


End file.
